Archive for Kira Puru & The Bruise

Velvet Hammer – The Mardi Gras Alternative (for the sleazy and greasy).

Posted in devil, Drunk, fantasy, Gay Paris, gig, Politics, Southern Horror, Swamp Rock, Sydney, sydney band with tags , , , , , , , on 20/02/2012 by gayparis

Easy peasy, greased up and sleazy!

FACEBOOK EVENT – so your friends know how rad you are!


4 Drink Minimum Tour Awards

Posted in Drunk, Gay Paris, Horror, Southern Horror, Swamp Rock, Sydney, sydney band, Tour, WH with tags , , , , , on 06/06/2011 by gayparis

Kung Fu Boobs Management Award – Nicole BZ
Shadow People Encouragement Award For Most Nocturnal Roadside Urinations – Blacktooth
Tetris Wizard Loading Award – Six Guns
Party Pony Pants Off Award – WH
Dance Party Dorothy’s Magic Slippers Award -Slim
Jabberwocky Most Quotable Award – Six Guns
Prison Breakout Award – Smokin’ D
Hottest Soul Sister – Kira Puru
AD & D 2nd Edition Multi-class Award – Janey Mac (Pirate/Doctor/Bassist)
Road Train Driving Medal (with amphetamines) – Six Guns
Award For Most Birthdays During Tour – Blacktooth (1)
Lifetime Achievement Retirement Watch – Smokin’ D
Chuck Norris Ass Kicking Title Belt For Soldiering On – Slim
Southern Hospitality Apron – Sally + Gordon
Northern Hospitality Apron – Jodi
Most Dominating Feline Diamond Collar and custom B-Ball jersey – Sir Charles
Smoochles Poochles Doggy Bone – George and Henry
Best Band – Gay Paris
Soul Train Heart String Locket – Kira Puru & The Bruise
Solid Gold Beer Bong For Dopest Funk – God God Dammit Dammit
Dinner In The Captains Cabin Voucher – The Good Ship
Trophy For Most Outrageous Venue Exit Strategy – Stevie J (of GGDD )
Bandanna Award For Most Bandannas Worn – WH
Slick Willies Fashion Award – Blacktooth
Most Hated Outfit (including silly hats) – WH
The Language As A Second Language Diploma – Slim
Eagle Eyes Aviator Shades Award – Six Guns

4 Drinks In Newtown

Posted in Gay Paris, Southern Horror, Swamp Rock, Sydney, Tour with tags , , , on 20/04/2011 by gayparis

Art By The Handsome James Grim

Taking The Throne: cooling down

Posted in Black Tooth, Blues, devil, Drunk, Slim, Smokin D, Southern Horror, Swamp Rock, Sydney, Tour, WH with tags , , , , , , , , , on 22/02/2011 by gayparis

So, the Taking The Throne tour is over and everyone survived, everything intact bar a touch of dignity, terrible hangovers and some embarrassing bruises in strange places.
Highlights included:
Late night after party in Newcastle with Brothers Grim & The Blue Murders and Kira Puru & The Bruise. Let’s just say that I bit off more than I could chew, lost my favourite kicks, Slim’s iPod and a few hours of my memory. How BZ and me made it back to Sydney in one piece, I’ll never really know. I don’t think that I want to.
Selling out The Vanguard. Okay, there was more to it than that. I think we finished the rider well before Kira and her boys even went on, but luckily, that is a venue that knows how to look after its acts. Needless to say, everyone was well liquored to hell and by the time we hit stage, the people of Sydney obviously in the same sinking ship. You can check photos of that gig over at FasterLouder.
Katoomba hooked us back up with our sister/brother band, The Snowdroppers. Far and away our best time in the mountains so far, it was just a bummer that we had to leave early to swing back to Sydney for an early morning film clip shoot. May the Morning Star preserve all who took part in that evil, evil day.
Catching a plane to Melbourne instead of driving and having a surf rock loving cab driver get us to the airport. What a guy!
Opening for BG&TBM in their home town. Great sound, great sound guy and watching James Grim shake his centaur sized ding-a-ling. Unfortunately, this was also the night that my nocturnal/slumbering wanderings and ramblings were at their most disturbing.
After picking up my little sister, KL Conroy from Melbourne airport, we drove to Ballarat. Gangsta rap and the road only gets better when she begins with her whorish ramblings. What a time! The Yard Apes packed out the venue and we got to really give it to the ladies and gents before we grabbed Blue Murder, Devlin and under the instruction of James, undertook a post midnight, booze and truckstop food fuelled race back to Melbourne for a ‘shirts off, pants off’ rave. Ironic dancing has never felt that good.
Wow. What a fucking final gig! After James dropped some Public Enemy styles the night before, we hit back with our ODB cover. That was good to get off our chests. Not only that, but the bar was packed well before doors opened and the place was ready to party. Nothing changed all night and it was great to catch some dudes and chicks that we haven’t seen in years. I even saw my old ‘zine editor. We’re going to resurrect something that should have stayed dead. Stay tuned.
Tour AwardsLeast Sleep: Ol’ Blacktooth Marks
Worst Jokes: KL Conroy
Keeping Shit Together: BZ
Most Money Spent on Food: Smokin’ D
Most Money Spent on Booze: BZ
Most Booze Consumed: BZ/WH
Most Rhymes Dropped: WH
Night Rider Driving : Slim Pickin’s
Best Hosts: Ham, Damien and Charles Barkley
Craziest Legs: Slim Pickin’s
Most Showers: Ol’ Blacktooth Marks
Biggest Power Playa: BZ

Sweet Revenge

Posted in Southern Horror, Swamp Rock, sydney band, Tour, WH with tags , , , , , , on 03/02/2011 by gayparis

Taking The Throne Tour
starts on February 11 – Kira Puru seems to think this has something to do with revenge.

Things I have seem done in the name of vengeance:
People that I know have
Written raps dissing a person or their unjust actions
Provoked rap battles
Started dance-offs
Written vitriolic letters
Poisoned food
Shoved a tree branch into bicycle spokes
Knocked on a door and high tailed it to the shadows
Crank phone calls
Put too much washing powder in a load, leaving white stains and requiring an additional wash
Spread vile rumours
Sword duel
Shit in a condom and left at the back of a freezer
Masturbated into pillowcases
Done awful things involving toothpaste, chilli, a tooth brush, clothes pegs and a passed out drunk

There’s probably more, but it’s too hot to go on.

Taking The Throne Tour

Posted in Blues, devil, Drunk, fantasy, Gay Paris, Horror, Southern Horror, Swamp Rock, sydney band, Tour, WH with tags , , , , , , on 29/01/2011 by gayparis

Time to Take The Throne, sucker.
That’s right, folks, we in camp Gay Paris are riding out into the sunset (read as anywhere that the booze is cheap and ‘love’ comes easy) with our sleazey grime family, Brothers Grim
Joining us for the NSW dates will be long time lovers, The Snowdroppers and new additions to our hot spots, Kira Puru & The Bruise.
For the VIC dates, we have grabbed The Yard Apes, Marshall & The Fro, Little John and Plague Doctor (with more TBA) to give you something to drink, think and thrust to.
Don’t thank us yet. Wait until we’ve got more intimate.
Thursday February 10
– The Lass O Gowrie, Newcastle NSW w/ Kira Puru
Friday February 11 – The Vanguard, Newtown NSW w/ Kira Puru
Saturday February 12 – Baroque Bar, Katoomba NSW w/ The Snowdroppers
Friday February 18 – The Evelyn, Melbourne VIC w/Marshall & The Fro
Saturday February 19 Karova Lounge, Ballarat VIC w/ The Yard Apes
Sunday February 20 Old Bar, Melbourne VIC w/ Plague Doctor and Little John
Sunday Febuary 20 – mystery special event!!