It’s over. We hit Melbourne, Hobart, Toowoomba, Brisbane, Sydney, Canberra, Wollongong and Adelaide and bestowed immortality on all bearded people – and in 9 months or so, there will likely be a rash of bearded babies being born too. Treat them well, ye harlots.
So this week took us to Melbourne (complete with hot sluts and arrogant jerks) and Hobart (no goths, I’m afraid).
I managed to lose my trousers and green bandanna and Slim proved once again that he is terrible at freestyling.
Enjoy these photos to the point of orgasm, friends. Just Adelaide left.
See you in hell.
Okay, you sweet bastards, I’m not getting much time for internet porn and writing pointless weird fiction these days, thanks to The The Bearded Immortals Tour. So, to make things easy on myself and maybe get time to quickly jerk off and scribble some notes about shit gnomes and moth people, I’ll be doing a weekly two part blog update. You should get the photo gallery first (which is probably just us hanging out doing nothing) and the next day you’ll get my thoughts on the whole fucking situation (hopefully including the fucking).
A life of good times, forever.
Gay Paris East Coast Tour, Winter 2011
“So what if The Beards are going to get one hundred beardless fools to gather their dignity and grow some goddamn facial hair?
It’s our goal to ensure that every bearded man (and anyone that will sleep with a bearded man) becomes immortal!”
That’s right, y’all, Gay Paris’ front man, WH has lost his mind again – and you know what that means: the kings of shack rockin’, swamp stompin’, heavy as the devil good times are back on the road.
With the wild (and let’s face it, that isn’t a word that Gay Paris throw around lightly) successes of this years previous tours, Taking The Throne and 4 Drink Minimum, the boys have indeed proved that not only have they brought ugly back, they’ve made it sexy.
With the addition of a fourth beard via the keen sighted man known only as Six Guns Simpson behind the kit, the stars have finally aligned in some obscure fashion that WH swears will allow all bearded men a lifetime of great times – forever.
Currently riding high on the release of their third single ‘The Blacktooth Supper Club’ from debut album, The Skeleton’s Problematic Granddaughter, Gay Paris dares anyone to deny the dirt crusted majesty of their live show – so come along, even if you hate the greatest band ever to crawl out of the mud and beg you for change while feeling you up and (probably) winning your heart in the process.
Fri August 5 Wombarra Bowlo, Wombarra NSW w/ The Hard-Ons
Fri August 12 The Zoo, Brisbane QLD w/ The Beards and Transvaal Diamond Syndicate
Sat August 13 The Spotted Cow Toowoomba, QLD
w/Bang Bang Boss Kelly
Thu August 18 Australian National University, Canberra ACT w/ The Beards
Fri August 19 The Annandale Hotel, Annandale NSW w/ The Beards
Sat August 20 The Cambridge Hotel, Newcastle NSW w/ The Beards
Fri August 26 Northcote Social Club, Melbourne VIC w/ The Beards
Sat August 27 The Republic Bar and Cafe, North Hobart TAS w/ The Beards
Fri September 2 Adelaide University, Adelaide SA w/ The Beards
SHOW US THAT YOU SEEK IMMORTALITY BY CLICKING HERE
The unholy princes of swamp rocking shack stomp return to Adelaide
OK, for those who don’t know (and you damn well should by now), we have a month long ‘residency’ of sorts at the Supper Club on Oxford Street in Sydney – oh, you droll bastards</em>, Gay Paris, you are thinking, what a way to out yourselves! But what we’d really like is for you to climb into the closet with us – it’s full of a hell load of wonderful shit!
Wonder shit? Sounds like something out of a China Miéville novel – but enough of that (for now).
Here is the complete list of what will happen each and every night – OK, I don’t really know who the Djs are yet and if that is important, check back in a bit, or stay home and watch old Kung-fu flicks in your underpants, drinking orange drink and rotting your teeth. What a life!
FRIDAY OCTOBER 8 – PARISIAN SPRING BREAK!
BANDS
Gay Paris It’s us, so trust it.
The Beards That’s right, if their drummer’s arse is healed and they aren’t scared off by our hirsute dominance, we’re teaming up with these gentle giants of the Beard-folk scene.
Brothers Grim Considering that they’re so damn attractive, I don’t see why they’d have the blues, they probably get more ass than rap guys.
Contraban Hot to def , so young, so fresh, get your glam with a bang!
ARTISTS
Mitzi McKenzie-King I call her Mitzapooh, she calls me Lukey-doo.
Mikey Hamer Dude did our film clip and photos for the record, so you know he is money – plus he is about 6’ 9” and has flaming red locks that would make a Scottish hero of folkloric legend weep into his whiskey and haggis in pure envy.
Rhonda Quinane Trust me, I live with her and the house is so full of art that I’m becoming more cultured by the nanosecond, or it could be this bottle of Merlot (yes, Merlot, you fucking wine snobs).
Paul Tooth This guy? Designed our new merch and has the smoothest game this side of Snoop Dogg circa 1993.
Craig Slater
DJ SETS BY MEDIA PERSONALITY AND FAMOUS STAND UP COMIC, ANDREW P STREET
FRIDAY OCTOBER 15 – SALOON DOOM BAR BRAWL!
BANDS
Gay Paris No, I don’t get sick of typing that
Jack Nasty Face Just when you thought no one had any style, BOOM!
La Mancha Negra Oh my! God made dirt so dirt don’t hurt…
Dirty Lindy Sometimes, you just gotta smooth it out, these cats know what we talking about.
ARTISTS
Felter Skelter (Anna Christoffersen & Emily Parsons-Lord)
Leigh Rigozzi
Bec Cook
Belinda Dipalo
Danielle Sullivan & Carl Gobey
DJ SETS BY BLACK CHERRY DJS
FRIDAY OCTOBER 22 – LADIES NIGHT!
BANDS
Gay Paris while most get better with age, we started out fantastic and have now transcended mortal comprehension. By this point, it will be religious.
The Rumjacks think they can drink us under the table but the real point of interest is going to be what happens once we’re all under that rotten, beer soaked trestle.
Betty Airs This is a bonafide super group consisting of dudes who have been in Run! Hide! And Gerling.
Mother &Son Two dudes doing the job of a whole band – yeah, it normally only works in hip hop, but this is dem real razor blade blues.
ARTISTS
Lisa Bowen
Anastasia Freeman
Anni Linklater
Sarah Gleeson
DJ SETS BY THE GOOD FOLK WHO BRING YOU TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT
FRIDAY OCTOBER 29 – HALLOWEEN THRILLER!
BANDS
Gay Paris time for the wolf dance, people, cuz we’re bringing him with us to this show
Hell City Glamours yeah, they’re way too big to be in a supporting role but then they lost the dance off. Suck it. Oh and they’re playing new songs.
The Smokestack Orchestra down to the nitty gritty, these guys have supported Clutch and nearly got us drowned, so you know it all good.
The Watt Riot these sweet bastards don’t play nearly enough shows, so we’ve got it in blood that they will show up.
ARTISTS
Steven Nuttall
Alice Amsel – She’s probably a fox queen too.
Richard Gurney
Melita Wrathall
Jay Tansley
Paul Tooth – It’s that guy again!
Leigh Rigozzi
DRINK SPECIALS!
So we got our sweetheart Weezy to whip up some monstrous concoctions
Deadrie’s Dogpark Caprihina has cachaca, blueberry liq, limes and berry pure
The Holy Sucker whiskey, Benedictine, lemon and lime juice with a touch of sugar syrup
Big Bleeder vodka, pomegranate liqure, cranberry juice and fresh lime
Green Devil Green Tea, Madori topped with either soda or pineapple juice
SHOOTERS!!!
Death To Spring Break Cointreau with Red Bull
A Goddamn Body Bag Scotch Whisky & Amaretto
Pre-cum Tia, Ameretto and amarula
Wormtongue Apple Liq, Absinthe, Apple Juice and sugar rim
if you haven’t checked out the clip and new songs, head over to our myspace and if you haven’t got tickets yet, head over to http://www.moshtix.com.au
