Yeah, I’ve been turning a whole bunch of songs into vehicles for hip-hop/rapping. Eventually, I’ll probably forget how to use my hard won language skills and and release an album called ‘Rapin’ In Da Clubz’, but for now, I’ll just give you some beats before I really get beat down.
First to get sullied – Death Cab For Cutie.
I have legit purchased all of your albums, so please don’t get rugged with me.
Archive for May, 2011
Last night? What the fuck happened? The eggs tasted good and there was so much gin. Dreams of tongue kissing something that has an impossibly long face and huge hands. Dreams.
I wake panting, face down, burning inside and the feathers scratch my skin, the nettles and tinsel dance and tickle and poke and find their way inside me. Some kind of trash bird nest. A note blurs into sensible.
Don’t be sorry, you sorry bitch.
Gore full, my belly bloats out in front and my breasts are pregnant tender. Beak marks and teeth, ripples of red around the areola , bile in my throat.
I’ve gotta get out of this tree and back to the underground.
Down in the woods, down on my luck, down on myself. Who the fuck did I get down with? Go down on?
I’ll say sorry to the white owl king and start again because every night is a night out.
The PA shudders through the woodland tunnels:
Come on down with the wolves and the owls, get on down where they hoot and howl
Dance around in the skin of a sow
Get the spook piggies and a thorn covered crown
Ooh la la, Pom Pom le Rouge
Tell us what you did last night!”
There is fear in the halls. I’m stinking of it with every breath, like a recovering alcoholic, dream taunts and piss stank skin, bags under my eyes holding all the old knowing that will blow me wide open and leave me on the floor before him, spread-eagled and barren.
Flashbacks from black to brown:
What’s the dog doing wearing the head of a man?
Now I’ve got a burn in her gut and a bite on my hand, where are my rings? At least he let me keep my fingers.
I must remember to take the appropriate measures, kill the baby goat with copper wire and hot golden broth.
Visit the apothecary and make love to the alchemist. Set fire to the evidence as a form of penitence.
When it gets too hot, just remember, there are no quiet nights in the arctic.More from the PA:
“Down on your knees in my court”
He appears in his terribly clean robe, impossibly albino, erection jutting at a proud and awkward angle.
The Owl king hoots and calls for more whores.
“Who will spit? Who will swallow, it’ll all be the same and the night plays out like a rosemary stain!”
As usual he is dramatic at the moment he approaches climax.
I say “good morning” in the evening and give ersatz curtsy, dipping my chest low and feeling my nipples remember the chewing hounds, birds and men of yester eve.
He’s checking out my bosom and I’m playing his game
“Are you sorry, Le Rouge?” He booms and gushes and the small women faint and drown while the larger ones set sail to stranger shores.
I’m always absolved, so I never abstain.
Now I powders my cheeks and smear honest blood on my teats, swig absinthe in the latrine and laugh long and loud at the drowning dead, their spirits won’t sink as long as He provides the vodka, by barrel and burlesque, they are kept afloat.
I’ll Keep dancing with the dragon gone from scarlet to green and let great white wings canopy my bed, even if it means oceans and apologies and fear of the dark, a hatred of gears and steam and wires and clean living. I’ll say “M’lord, it meant naught, an honest mistake,” and false men in black with fuck my corpse at my wake.
When I wake on the morrow, I’ll say sorry again
Even if Hell freezes over.
Remember that there are no quiet nights in the brimstone lodge.
Hi there, this is your friendly, neighbourhood shower sage, WH.
As most of you have been coming out to our 4 Drink Minimum Tour, I thought I should help you out with some advice on hangover cures. Really, it comes down to a rule of twos – do these things twice and you’ll feel twice as nice:
Crap out the toxins – that’s right, it takes two shits to get a lot of the dormant booze and other chemicals out of your system, so make sure you do them both. The first is usually the more solid of the two.
Jack it, baby! – Definitely achieve two orgasms within the first few hours of waking. Make the effort, this is vital.
Raise your cup – coffee cup, that is, though any two caffienated beverages will do. This may even aid you in geting the booze crapped out.
Get clean – goes without saying almost, but showering will sooth your bestial body. I like to combine the orgasmic part of this surefire cure with the cleaning bit, but each to their own.
By this point, you should be ready to slink off for a few afternoon drinks before the night shows up and tells you to get serious.